How the Story Ends

Source of Inspiration

Today there’s only a trickle
no gush to be found
gone is abundance
and gluttony
replaced by measured drops
each precious in its turn.

So much wealth
divided by so few.
There’s no shame in poverty
but there is no pride either.
No shoes, no food, no shelter
he stands outside
watching others make merry
wondering what he did wrong.

Is life a crap shoot
some win, some lose
that’s all there is?
Or is there something
we do not see
fail to understand?
Turn the page
so we know how
the story ends.

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The nights are the worst

Rhapsody Bohème

Sometimes, I crave solitude and an escape from the chatter when things get too busy. Yet when I have it and when I am alone, these night of solitude become the worst ones of all. When the day comes to a rest and I’m no longer distracted, the truth of these haunting walls where Mom lived and resided for so many years, close in on me. I can feel their loneliness, their pain and I can hear their cry’s, while adding my own. Some days my heart feels heavy and I suppose even those times are needed and a part of the process. Being right here, where it all happened, where only walls heard the cries of loneliness is yet different vs thinking about it from afar.

For the longest I contemplated moving back, to transform this sadness and breathe a new life into these walls, letting my love cancel…

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Signs That The Person You’re Dating Is Lying To You

Love, Life, Broken

It’s hard to think clearly when it comes to the people we love. Our gut reaction is normally spot on. It can be completely derailed when we want to believe our significant other is telling the truth.

But people lie in relationships all the time, be they white lies, lies of omission, or elaborate fibs.

Sometimes ignorance is bliss, but if you really want to know if the person you’re with is being dishonest, here are 15 body and language indicators that will help tip you off.

Common wisdom says liars avoid making eye contact, but be wary if someone is trying too hard to hold your gaze.

Liars also purse their mouths – It’s a classic expression.

Liars tend to touch their face a lot (especially their nose) when they’re telling lies.

Shrugging shoulders, turning away, fidgeting, and crossing their arms are also all body language indicators that someone is lying.

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Love, Life, Broken

You know that moment when you find someone you completely click with? That person who wants you to be happy, who pays attention to everything about you, who wants to see you grow? This person puts in effort, expects effort, reminds you to love the things about yourself that you normally have a hard time with, and makes you feel completely blissful. It’s hard to accept sometimes, when you’re in your dark places, to be yanked out into the sunlight.

The patience, understanding, love, and respect of boundaries it takes to bring light out of a dark abyss, while also containing just the right amount of darkness for you to thrive… it’s just 🥺.

It’s a slow process. One that takes time and extreme gingerness so that the skittish animal inside doesn’t retreat. One misstep and it’s back to square one.

And then, someone breaks through that shit and totally…

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I’m Fucking Tired

Love, Life, Broken

I’m tired. I’m absolutely exhausted. And it’s not the kind of tired sleep can fix. No, this exhaustion runs deep into my soul, in my innermost being. This exhaustion goes beyond the physical. It’s mental, emotional, spiritual. It’s a lack of joy for life, a lack of interest in anything. It’s being completely worn down by the constant battle I fight every day inside my head. It’s feeling like giving up every second and wondering why I’m still trying. It’s the depletion of happiness from my life. It’s the suffocation of energy to do even the smallest of taste. It’s me putting whatever part of me is left into things that I don’t love and that doesn’t benefit me. It’s feeling so hopeless and worthless and alone. It’s the feeling of trying so hard and putting everything I have into something and it still not being enough. It’s the never-ending…

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Love, Life, Broken

So, that’s it? We’re back to being strangers. Pretending like the other person just never existed. Haunted by pictures hidden away in my camera roll. but you’re a stranger who I’ll always remember. I miss you. And it’s not like I’m angry at you because you don’t want me. Trust me. Being unwanted has become second nature. I’m angry because you pretended as you did. Like I mattered like I was someone special in your eyes like you could never forget me. You convinced me that you felt the same as me. The songs we shared, the odd sweet messages, laying in your arms, cuddling up close watching shows. Everything felt so perfect, so right. But that was never true at all. The other shoe just hadn’t dropped is all. But it’s not right. And it’s not fair.

I trusted you. Fell for it hook, line, and sinker. The first…

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To Be Adored…

The Lighthouse

One day, I would love to sign my name
be wildly proud to autograph a volume
My words printed there in glorious black ink
Type-set, spell-checked and bar-coded
head-shot just inside the hard cover…

And the girl opposite says she loves my work
the way it resonates with her own feelings
gives a voice to what has gone unsaid
she and her beau read them at night

I’d be one step closer to meeting my potential
achieved something of worth
So, when my child wants to know me
they can be proud of what I made

And though, at times, my emotions ran so cold
my self-worth, some nights, practically sub-zero
I managed to focus my thoughts long enough
to shape them into a tidy poem

Illustrate each feeling I have wrestled through
let others know they’re not alone
Give language to annunciate their hurt
in return, all I want

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Wow Part #2

Ramblings Of A Fragile Mind

In difference to the year before

I’d travelled down to Glasgow here

I met up with an old friend

To discuss another one over beer

What a difference a year can make

Along with some heavy anti-depressants

As you can see I was far happier

And had never felt more present

Old Faces

to you
so much

a tear
to my

It seems
no one
else I
want to
sit with

go by

(Originally Posted 30.03.2020)

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