Why is he the first thing in my mind when I wake up? I don’t like it.
OK. It’s time to admit it. I have a big crush on him. It happens and there’s not much I can do about it.
I’ve no idea how and when it even happened. I just started talking to him more often, observing him, thinking of him. The fact that I am near him almost every day doesn’t make it easier. I try not to stare, not to seek, not to desire. I keep telling my heart that the feelings are unwanted by me, that I want them to be gone. But it doesn’t work. You cannot argue with your heart. A fight with your heart is always a lost fight.
What do I actually feel, though? What is a crush? I’ve always felt that being on my own was my destiny. I’ve never…
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