Ebb and Flow

The boundaries are blurred so I wait
Observing from a distance,
I consider my fate

In time there’s some meaning
I establish my feelings
A calming naivety, au fait

As I recoil back within
Escape the prison of my skin
I know that I suffer, but I’m alive

There’s moments of fear
And flashes of pain

Some days last an hour
Some hours last a day

In confidence I cry out and drop the facade
But I fight on regardless



I wrote ‘Alive’ about a week after being finally diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer. I’ve been reading it in my notes on my phone since Monday, as I am finding myself relating to the words much more than I have been of late. This cycle of chemotherapy has been the most uncomfortable so far and my mood is suffering a bit because of it. At the time of writing…

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