Fair Fighting Rules

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Every relationship has disagreements. It’s how we handle those disagreements that counts. A bad argument can turn even a little problem into a big one, making it emotionally charged and painful.

This is where fair fighting rules come in. Fair fighting rules don’t tell us we can’t argue. Instead, they tell us how to do it safely. They tell us what’s okay—and what’s crossing the line—in an argument.

  1. Before you begin, ask yourself why are you upset?

Are you angry because your partner left the mustard on the counter? Or are you angry because you feel like you’re doing an uneven share of the housework, and this is just one more piece of evidence? Take time to think about your own feelings before starting an argument.

2. Discuss one topic at a time.

Don’t let “You left dishes in the sink” turn into “You watch too much TV.” Discussions that get off-topic…

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