Control: Slippery and Evasive

Sunflower.Tears.Blog

There is something quite haunting and pathetic about those who feel the need to control: the more they try, the less they maintain. I can say pathetic because I am one of these people. I was raised a Type A control freak with anxiety in both of my back pockets. Anxiety is a good partner in these instances because it promises that with just a few more chess moves the game will be perfect. There are always just a few more things to change. To fix, rather. Anxiety promises that all the time spent will come back like a reward. I can thank God that I had a panic attack about organizing my schedule because now I have an extra twenty minutes on Wednesdays. I can thank God that my anxiety not only kept me awake but ripped my ass out of bed to check for the fourteenth time that…

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