Bottled feelings

Beans, Pen & Nirja

I am completely empty from inside. Sometimes I find myself staring at the wall, furniture, television and I don’t know what am I watching.

I pretend to smile. I hope to smile. I pretend to be happy. I hope to be happy. I pretend to believe in life. I hope to believe in life.

I go forth and beyond my imagination. I smile and tears roll down at the same time. My heart gets drowned in pain. I am numb.

I cry so hard. I cry, stop and again tried to stop but got defeated by my tears. This is my immense grief filled routine.

I lay in my bed, all alone and I mourn. I can’t just think of any happy thoughts. There is bottled feelings like a lump on my throat which gives endless sleepless nights.

While I grieve, I calm my restless heart with tears.

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