YOU CAN’T GO BACK

You cannot go back. You cannot go back in time. You can remember, but you can’t go back.

I have many memories. Good ones. Happy ones. Times when I was not sick. When I was active and useful. Times when I had friends. Times when I had family. At this time I have no friends or family. It just is. That is how it has worked out.

My whole life until now has been spent in giving to others. At a deep level. Now, however, I am alone. Just the circumstances have worked out this way.

I have a brother and a sister. But my brother rejected me when I went blind and became wheelchair bound. He does not want to know me. My sister is mentally ill, and incapable of having relationships. My mother is still alive, but is 93 and sick and has dementia.

It is just me…

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