Today is one of the bad days.
Today, I spend an hour over the page, spelling out my name onto paper, over and over and over again until it’s all I can see.
A curve here. A line there. A dot. Repeat.
A tear drops onto the ink and leaves a speckle of blue that wobbles when I exhale.
I feel my pulse steadily rising, my heart beating faster as I take another breath.
It’s all wrong.
It isn’t me.
The paper cackles as I crush it, laughing at me.
I feel like a mirage, as if I’m made of smoke, fading into nothingness.
Like a cold squall of wind could hiss my way, and I’ll be gone, only two sets of nails and thirty-four teeth swirling in a spiral down to the ground.
And then, just as quickly, they’ll turn to dust and ash, blown away in a gust…
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